Girl, Re-interrupted: Boy meets Girl

She forgot to paint her nails, and so from the ground up to around her knees she was a twelve year old. Her toes were earnestly tucked under themselves in her sandals, but not far enough to convincingly disguise the chipped paint she’d forgotten to patch up. No matter, from the sky down to around her knees she looked alright, and anyone who could get close enough to see her feet was just not tall enough, anyway. (So, everyone.) She tried to remember to unfold her feet every other minute, especially since her last foray to the makeshift bar ended with more alcohol content on her dress than in her glass.

Later, when she went over the details, she realised it all made sense: anyone who could watch her waddle in sky high heels and find that attractive had to be completely insane. Or just really, really tall. So it made sense that she fell at his feet. You see, what happened was…

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD

Messages:
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DD: You fell.

Mo-re-Nike✓: Only if that word means what it means, i.e. what I’ve been saying for the last five minutes, i.e. falling down and humiliating myself forever and ever.

DD: Oh my God X_X

Mo-re-Nike✓: You know you really wanted to say omg.

DD: Only you say omg like it’s a word. Oh my God did you say ‘omg’ to his face?

Mo-re-Nike✓: More like to his feet.

DD: What shoes was he wearing?

Mo-re-Nike✓: I couldn’t tell.

DD: You had your face on his feet and you couldn’t tell what shoes he was wearing.

Mo-re-Nike✓: I know, crazy, right? I had just fallen flat on my face in front of the only guy in the room that was tall enough to not see my chipped nail polish

DD: Nobody cares about your stupid nail polish!!

Mo-re-Nike✓: And I didn’t take the time to check out the precise form of his footwear.

Mo-re-Nike✓: Uhm, have you seen my stupid nail polish?

DD: Of course not.

Mo-re-Nike✓: Exactly.

DD: …Because I would hope that by now you’d have fixed said stupid nail polish.

DD: ??

DD: MORENIKE

Mo-re-Nike✓: Did you not just hear that I fell?? I’m nursing my bruised pride.

DD: Let’s hope it heals in time for you to get your bruised nails back in shape.

Mo-re-Nike✓: I thought you said no one cares about my stupid nail polish.

Mo-re-Nike✓: PING!!!

DD: Stop pinging me I’m not here. Don’t you have any pride left to nurse?

Mo-re-Nike✓: I’ve stopped lactating.

DD: Oh? I’ll send you some varnish remover and you can get started on your toes, then.

Mo-re-Nike✓: bitch.

DD: You’re just bitter because my boobs work.

Mo-re-Nike✓: Yes, you have a baby.

DD: And if you’d like one, you need a pedicure.

Mo-re-Nike✓: I hate you.

DD: You know you still haven’t told me what happened, right?

Mo-re-Nike✓: I’m nursing my hatred of you.

DD: Husband says get a pedicure. Love you boo!

*Ends chat*

What had happened was this.

Morenike got dressed in a hurry that night because she got home late from a meeting that she’d thought was a date but wasn’t, which she’d run off from work to get to, upsetting her boss, which was not the best thing to do considering she’d just asked for a raise. But she’d figured it was a date, and that if he turned out to be the man of her dreams she could just quit and start her own company, because he was rich enough that she wouldn’t need to work for money anymore.

Since it wasn’t a date, she thought, as she sped home, and since she’d managed to stop short of completely embarrassing herself in front of a potentially important client, she figured she could tell her boss how hard she’d actually been working, and look for a suitable excuse for blowing off the last hour of the meeting. (It wasn’t that bad, she’d gone first anyway.)

So, she’d only had time to shave her pits, and she threw her shoes into the car, and she applied her lipstick in traffic (and didn’t kill anyone, mother.) And when she got to Ayo’s party she ran to the bathroom first, pouted at herself for a job well done (in so little time!), adjusted her boobs and waltzed into the room. It was only after she’d air-kissed Faceless & Friends, snatched up a glass of bubbly and looked down to pick up her buzzing blackberry that she’d spotted her feet.

What to do?

She shimmied up to the suddenly facefull friend next to her in a little experiment that went thus:

“You wont believe I forgot to change my polish. It’s not so bad, right?”

“Uhm… right, sure, yea! It’s perfectly not that noticeable if you stand in the uhm... well it’s not so bad.”

Which is how she ended up in the corner with her toes tucked in. Except, then Ayo dragged her out for pictures (“what are you doing in the corner it’s my engagement party and like it or not you’re my sister!”)

And then Faceless dragged her out for mockery, “Guys, I keep telling Morenike her toes are perfectly, uhm, fine, right? Tell her! Nobody cares, sweetie.”

And then the bar dragged her out because, well, she’s just easy like that.

And then, after she’d spilled her wine on herself she had to go back for a refill, and then she’d tripped over BigFoot.

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD

Messages:
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DD: How did you not see him?

Mo-re-Nike✓: I was bbing you!

DD: And fell face first into his balls!

Mo-re-Nike✓: The balls of his feet, you dirty, dirty girl.

DD: The balls of his large feet?

Mo-re-Nike✓: I didn’t see.

DD: Liar! You can trust me, I’m not going to tell your brother you’re a ho.

Mo-re-Nike✓: Because he’ll read it by himself?

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD’s Baby Daddy

Messages:
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DD’s Baby Daddy: PING!!!
DD’s Baby Daddy: Hi More tick!
DD’s Baby Daddy: Hi More tick!!
DD’s Baby Daddy: Hi More tick!!! 
DD’s Baby Daddy: :P

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD

Messages:
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Mo-re-Nike✓: Your husband just bb’d me.

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD’s Baby Daddy

Messages:
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DD’s Baby Daddy: I don’t know why we don’t just group chat. Honey why don’t we open a group chat?

Mo-re-Nike✓: You’re texting me.

DD’s Baby Daddy: She can see it.

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD

Messages:
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DD: The façade is useful to preserve our friendship, honey.

Mo-re-Nike✓: You’re texting me.

DD: He can see it.

Participants:
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Mo-re-Nike✓, DD’s Baby Daddy

Messages:
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Mo-re-Nike✓: I hate you.

DD’s Baby Daddy: You’re texting me.

Mo-re-Nike✓: You both can see it.

*Ends chat*

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Comments + critique very welcome.
Girl Re-interrupted Introduction